What my new-found poverty has taught me so far…

First, let’s be clear about what I mean by poverty. When somewhere around 2/3rds of the world lives on literally 1-2 dollars a day, my current drop in income from about 50 k to about 20 k hardly qualifies me as poor. But, I don’t always know where my next check is coming from, which is probably why I have 3-4 part-time jobs.

But here are a few surprising things I’ve noticed about myself since I moved from a full time job with benefits to several low-paying endeavors…

1) I’m dog tired – It’s way more draining moving from job to job. It’s not just the added travel and time on the various jobs; it’s the stress of not knowing if you’re coming or going and still having to coordinate care for my child and care for my 78- year-old dad. I feel as though I’m in a constant state of fatigue. And while I’m a committed exerciser who knows full well the importance and benefits of staying fit, I’m far more likely to blow off the day’s workout after running from job to job.

2) I’m more sensitive – I find I can get a bit resentful when people who make five or even ten times as much as I do whine about their financial hardships. I know that, to some extent, everyone has got his/her share of problems. But when I hear my friends or even relatives moaning about not being able to take that trip to Cabo or the Mediterranean this year, I want to puke. For me the choice is whether or not to buy health insurance.

3) I spend more money on non-necessities – This one’s really got me scratching my bald head. I’ve always been extremely frugal…ok, downright cheap. But working much harder for a whole lot less money, I find that when payday comes, I’m more likely to go out for dinner or buy that cute new pair of shoes for my daughter than I ever was when I was making much more dough. I can remember criticizing those “undisciplined poor people” who would leave their manual labor jobs on Friday with a paycheck in their pocket and head straight to the bar on the way home to spend a healthy chunk of it, when they “should be saving.” As near as I can figure it, when I’m working as hard as I have to with three part time jobs and fighting the fatigue and even despair that comes with them, I feel that I “deserve” to treat myself…and, damn it, I do!

So life is teaching me some important lessons as I adjust to a very new way of life. I’m embracing where I am, even if I didn’t plan it quite the way it has worked out. Every day is an adventure, a lesson in both humility and perseverance, and I really wouldn’t trade places with anyone. Our Buddhist brothers and sisters tell us that life brings us exactly what we need to ascend to a higher consciousness. The task is to trust that process and receive each lesson as a gift. What else can we do?